We all have, and like every parent we want to see our children grow up to be, graceful, grounded, purpose-centered, responsible and accomplished citizens.

Citizens who take the “high road”: of feeling, thinking and acting responsibly; explore academic avenues and develop good character-traits that help them recognize the correlation between value-based living and long-term happiness—as opposed to taking the low road that’ll diminish their lives.

Of course, in spite of our best efforts, there’s no full-proof way to getting everything right when it comes to raising a child. 

 It won’t always be easy either, as even the best of intentions are often influenced or dictated, by circumstance.

 I broached this very subject a few years ago at a family-life conference where, widely acknowledged, was the issue of the family unit like we once knew it; that it had fundamentally changed.

And during a question and answer session, a 37-year old man stood up and recounted with passion and sadness: “My sister, a young mother of three, is now forced to raise three kids with little to no support due to no fault of hers!”                             

He recalled many harrowing stories (weighty issues) of what he’d seen first hand, and I was deeply moved not by his passion and tone alone, but by his desire and determination to help his sister move past her many challenges and transform the landscape of her life.

One week later I met with his sister, a selfless mom who’d worked herself to a fault trying to raise those kids the best way she knew how to. 

With many sad stories to tell she told them with such dignity and grace that I’ll always remember her with admiration and utter respect.

Sad stories like hers abound, everywhere: on the radio, on the television, in the newspapers and online as well as by talking with teachers, parents and children with everyone acknowledging that a host of challenges exist; that our children’s needs aren’t being fully met mentally, physically or spiritually.

Listening to many of the children themselves, a sense of helplessness and hopelessness comes through with respect to their future and their fears of passing on what amounts to a cycle of depravity—and their sense of hopelessness itself—to their off-springs. 

 Plus, depending on where they lived, their fears of being incarcerated or killed by age 20—the life expectancy of children living in certain deprived neighborhoods according to new research.

Sadly, families in turmoil often overlook the need to—and the responsibilities of—teaching values to their children.

It is unfortunate, as all children deserve dignified and purpose-centered lives, not to mention that they’ve all been born with the potential to accomplish greatness. 

But it all begins with you. Start by making your relationship with them as good and as strong as it needs be; start taking small steps by instilling strong discipline, self- management and strong moral values as part of those first steps.

In fact, building a strong parent-child relationship cannot be over- emphasized. 

 Get into the habit of talking with them—every day; build a close relationship with them.

Not only does a close parent-child relationship make it easier for them to come to you when they need help, it’ll help you become more aware of, and sensitive to, their needs, see their strengths in what you might otherwise perceive as their weaknesses, and help you celebrate them exactly as they are.

More broadly, in terms of fostering strong moral values and foundation building, establishing a close relationship, is necessary.

 The Smart Life Center
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